So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
