found the other keg... it's in the tree
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
