Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way

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(708): View more from Illinois

Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy

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(210): View more from Texas

It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good

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(831): View more from California

Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers

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(434): View more from Virginia

So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible

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(903): View more from Texas

EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?

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