It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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