I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
