you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
