Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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