I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
