i think my mom watched the whole time
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
