then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
