Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
