so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
