jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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