im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
