Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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