all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
