Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
