how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
