I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
