You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Randomize
