Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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