I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
