What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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