if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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