the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
