i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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