Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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