in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I think I am morally bankrupt
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
