We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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