put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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