No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
