I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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