I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
