just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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