he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
