A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
