Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
