Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
