I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
