At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My feet surprised me
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
