Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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