She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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