these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
