I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
