Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
