Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
