You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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