he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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