Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize