The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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