You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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