Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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