Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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