im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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