That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
